Bam…

When life freezes the lemons, you get really fucking cold lemonade.

There are points where you think you’re emotionally okay and then life places an emotional glass window in front of you and you walk right into it. It hurts physically because you walked into it with full force, emotionally because you didn’t see it coming and then everything inside lingers.

Yesterday, I took a simple photo of Lola hiding under an afghan on the couch because it was cold in the apartment and she wanted some warmth.

The picture doesn’t really capture the adorableness of the moment but B and I wanted to remember her trying to find a spot to cover up, because her fur coat wasn’t cutting it.

That’s when I walked into the emotional glass window.

It was the afghan that triggered the whole thing because I thought I should really email Grandma this photo, she’d love it. She made the afghan and should see that we use it and that our pets enjoy wrapping up in it. But, I can’t. She won’t receive it. At least not on any PC on this planet.

Then I thought maybe I should put the afghan away so that it would be saved forever and ever. It was a ludicrous thought, then I wouldn’t be able to wrap up in something that was crafted with her hands and made with so much love.

And I know that’s why she made it because even though she isn’t here to give me a hug, she gave it to me in the way of fibers twisted together to make yarn and then bound together by a Grandmother that loved me very much. That’s the part of the emotions from my glass window that lingers on.

The afghan won’t go into hiding because there are still going to be moments of when I find that birthday card she sent or another momento, that I’ll need it for a hug that no one on earth can provide.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 11th, 2010 at 12:15 am and is filed under Love, Pain, The unknown, family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.