There is no turmoil going on and no issues that have presented barriers to life. We’re loving each other, taking care of one another, honoring and cherishing on a daily basis.

Waking up in the morning enjoying each others presence.

Taking care of the work that we’ve been tasked with great finesse.

Then coming home to the chores that daily life makes known and relaxing, letting the uck that life adheres to us, so that we can recoup and regather our wits.

But nothing extraordinary except for contentment has been occurring. And, we’re perfectly happy with that.

Yup, I woke up happy. SYRUPY OVER THE TOP BRIMMING WITH F&ING HAPPINESS!! Why might you ask? Well, let me tell you!
-We’re going to have brunch with a great friend whom my husband is trying to get her a job at his company. This isn’t a bite you in the ass situation because this chick can totally do the work.
-I’m going to get my first facial in ten years!
-My husband was awarded by the CEO of his new ‘old’ employer two tickets to tonight’s major league baseball game, right behind home plate in a luxury suite and a reserved parking pass. We get to be VIPs!

The only downer is my weight and I’m not even going to let me get me down. I’m going to stretch, walk and enjoy my body and how it functions today and make it stronger for tomorrow.

So, if any unhappy thoughts, bad ideas or foul moods want to ruin my sunshine, it’s not going to happen. I’m teflonning my good mood.

Sunshine and puppy dogs,

Jen

But over here in the land of Nut, we’re celebrating another kind of freedom. B got himself a new, same-ol’ gig. Confuzzled?

See B was a contractor for a client for the last seven years. Then in December/January some shit hit the fan and splattered allover the ceiling of life. B unfortunately was in between the shit thrower and the shit. Yeah, not good but thankfully his awesome skills allowed him to come out of the situation smelling like roses when he cleaned the shit up and used it to make things grow.

And now he’s no longer a contractor but an employee of his former client.

But that’s not the best part. No, my lovelies, the kicker is that he gets vacation. PAID VACATION. When you’re a self-employeed worker, you don’t look forward to vacation because it means not earning money. We’ve been in situations where we relied on B to bring home the bacon and then we were in times where he could take time off but we were trying to meet goals. Vacation was never a real priority for B and in the last five years, the most consecutive time off B’s taken is 3 days – when we got married.

Now, he gets three weeks off and sick days. He can go away and relax, not worried what to do with a short paycheck or figure out a way to make those hours up. We can walk on a beach and enjoy each other. There are locations where you need more than a week to explore and now those are on our agenda. Of course, there is the sick days, he can get sick and take days off to get well. In the past, he’d find ways to make up the hours as soon as he wasn’t contagious – which could lead to a relapse.

I’ll be honest, I cried when I thought about him just being able to not have that pressure anymore. Then I booked a cruise to a Hawaii. (Kidding! We’re going to Florida next month to celebrate my parents 40th Anniversary and we can stay longer than we had originally planned because of our new situation.)

There were pros and cons to the change but we’re incredibly happy with what this new gig will afford us in the near and distant future.

He wants to toilet train the cats.

If you knew how much litter we go through a year, you’d be helping the cats understand that the toilet is their friends. Sassy, with her ‘issue’, pees like a sprinkler. It’s fucking NUTS the amount of urine that comes out of her 13lb body. Anyway, with my back, it’s hard for me to clean out the litter boxes (yes, we have to have TWO) and the number of times we have to clean out said boxes, it’s exhausting.

During a trip to Petco, Brian found the Litter Kwitter. (Warming: video of cats shitting on a toilet)

It’s a potty training system with felines that gets them use to doing onesies and twosies over different trays that start out fully enclosed to a tray that is mostly a giant hole with a moat of litter around it. If this works, our life will be easy. Just go in and flush the toilet. And I’m sure B will devise a way to get the cats to enjoy the magical sounds of whirling water, so that they’ll flush after themselves. One can dream that our crazy antics will work!

But, I’ll be here to rant about life and it’s unfairness for having a rather large ass. And too small boobs for said ass.

Also, I’ve been writing a dear BP, fuck you for killing my childhood home and a lot of people I know livelihoods letter but I keep deleting it. Every time I start writing the letter I want choke someone and then I start crying. As I am about to right now.

Maybe in a day or two I can compose the letter to my satisfaction.

And Knitting. And running grown up errands like having my car serviced by five men.

Yes, at one point there were five men on my baby. I didn’t know if I needed to be ashamed or start filming the servicemen on car action and try to sell it to some perverted group on the internet. Obviously, I didn’t go with the money making route.

My car has recovered from her experience and I’ve also been poked and prodded. In the eyes. But the eyes are good. So are my teeth. And tomorrow I find out how my back is doing. Which I already know, shitty. I’ll be talking to the doctor to schedule another round of epidurals for a spinal block of glory. I loved the results from the last round, which lasted two years, and if this round is just as grand I’ll be a happy camper.

But back to the knitting, because really, that’s the intriguing (ie boring) part of my life. I’m working on a sweater for my mom – no pictures yet. And socks (in progress – toes only right now) that are in ode to my 80’s childhood, Rainbow Brite.

And here is the pile of yarn that I’ll be using to make said knee highs.

Now, for the serious subject. What would you all (five of you) think if I stopped Nutcase101 and made a new knitting blog? Nothing has been decided but maybe I’ll do something 50/50 – rant and knit or as often known in the knitting world as “Stitch and Bitch”.

It was the most relaxing moment of my life, my heart didn’t race with excitement but settled into the ease of comfort of what love really is. It’s not to say that he doesn’t make my toes curl when he kisses me, because he totally does but it was having that realization that I’d found the perfect partner in crime. And we’ve been together for over five years but man and wife, today we hit two.

Happy Anniversary B, I am so glad to be your wife. And I look forward to sitting on the couch with you holding hands for a long time.

In about five hours and fifteen minutes we’ll be on a jet plane to California for a glorious five days where we’ll enjoy great friends, conversation and food. Honestly, it’s going to be a blast. We do plan on fitting some sites into our trip but really, it’s all about the people.

And if you’re in Los Angeles and you want to have lunch with the Slackmistress, Betheboy and the crew of LAGenX, come to Laurel Tavern at noon tomorrow (5/29).

But today was the day that I decided that walking was too hard and made this decision in front of others.

Was I committing an act of Tom Foolery? No.

Was I trying to exercise on my way to my office? No.

Was I simply doing something that I supposedly mastered approximately thirty years ago? Yes.

I wiped out in the hallway in a full blown, You Tube worthy method. No, there is no video. At least I hope not.

Oh God, I hope that security camera was there for show.

If you have, I hope that you noticed the good manners and my inability to be mean/out of sorts with the group and I certainly didn’t go off on rants with things that tick me off. Nope, I keep all of that inside. I rarely complain about situations that I don’t like, I suck it up and go with the crowd. Sure we can go for asianfusion cuisine, I’d love to try sea cucumber intestines.

And up until about age 25, I had the word doormat stamped across my forehead. People utilized that functionality about me quite frequently. I do know how to stand up for myself

But here, here I can rant.

I can say, “FUCK YOU!” to the bitch that cut inline at the checkout counter when I had already been standing there for 10 minutes. Or “MANNERS PLEASE” to the woman that came to a dead stop in a crowded shopping mall and didn’t realize that those behind her would run into her because we didn’t read her mind.

And to the guy who almost killed me while I crossed the street AT THE CROSSWALK WITH THE GREEN LITTLE MAN TELLING ME TO GO, well I hope you get a really fucking painful disease that starts at your cock and makes it fall off. Oh yeah, I was screaming at you to stop your TRUCK because I love my hips in their non-shattered form. I’m just glad that I had reflexes that allowed for me to get out of your way.